Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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