We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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