I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
