there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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