you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
