Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
