Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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