you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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