I hate all girls vehemently.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
