This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
zippers are such a cool invention
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
