When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
