So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
