let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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