So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just puked most of my soul out..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
