i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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