Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
