You're a womanizer and a bitch.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
