Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
