dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
