He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I need to stop coming to work sober
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
