its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
did you just send me my own nude
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
