If that was your dad, he is hot
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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