escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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