Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
