Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
