This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
