I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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