Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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