We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
