Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
