Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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