Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
