i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
