D3 body, D1 cock
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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