I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
