I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
