You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is Oprah even human
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
