i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
