I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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