my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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