Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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