I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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