apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
