Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
