took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
