her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
