Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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