so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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