New low: just hacked my moms facebook
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i think my cat just said my name.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
