Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
