Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
